Every parent I know struggles with finding time for themselves. Between work, homework time, extracurricular activities on weekends plus house duties, parents usually find me-time after their munchkin is bed. That “me-time” turns into whatever things haven’t been handled during the day or if you’re like me, you’re getting in bed right after them to start it all over tomorrow. So where do we find time for our own things? I don’t mean watching your favorite TV shows while folding laundry or getting a pedicure while the munchkin is at basketball practice. I mean true dedicated alone time when you aren’t checking the clock to make sure you aren’t late to pick up. So how do we balance parenting and feeding our individual spirit?

If you are in a co-parent situation where you raise your munchkin together but aren’t in a romantic relationship, then I suggest having a set weekly schedule where the time is split as fairly as possible between both parents. This will allow both of you time to plan each week to do whatever things interest you. You have time to date, catch up with friends, pursue a hobby/passion or just spend it at home doing whatever feels good to you. Ever since I turned 30, its something about being home alone that just soothes my soul.

If you are married with munchkins then I suggest planning bi-weekly date nights. Time together will allow you to keep the romance alive in your relationship. Lots of married parents get lost in the hustle and bustle of every day life and forget the partner that they chose to spend life with. I grew up with in a house with my married parents and they surely made time to go on solo vacations together. They helped show me the importance of doing what is best for yourselves as individuals and parents. Yes I missed them when they were gone but I loved seeing them enjoy themselves.

If you are a single parent without help from another steady parental figure, then I can completely understand the difficulty you may come across trying to find set alone time. Hopefully, you are in the situation where you have a support system, family or friends, that you trust with your munchkin to have some time alone. Recently, I’ve seen these new kid centers popping up. For a small fee, you can leave your munchkin at the center for a few hours on the weekends and do whatever you may like. If you are in Brooklyn, then check out Kiddie Science at 509 Rogers Avenue. They have a weekly schedule of fun-filled kids activities, which you can find at www.kiddiescience.org

Whatever your situation, I strongly believe that every parent should prioritize time for themselves. It is a healthy aspect of being an adult that we get to model for our munchkins. Teaching them the importance of celebrating their individuality on a consistent normal basis, not just on special occasions, will help them as they grow older to realize they matter. It will also teach them no matter what “role” they are playing in life: mom, employee, wife, daughter, etc. they are important just for who they are. And that might be one of the best gifts you can ever give your munchkin.

I know for some parents, you can feel extremely guilty about wanting time away from your munchkin. I’m here to tell you that you can love your munchkin unconditionally and STILL want to be alone. In fact, I would be worried about any parent who DIDN’T miss spending time by themselves. As quiet as its kept, parents are humans and should express themselves fully. Make time for yourself and enjoy it fully, remember you cannot pour from an empty cup. Show your munchkins the importance of being mindful and aware of their individual nature.